~ Geisterfahrer ~

Every day I rise to face these challenges.
They toss, they sway but they can't turn me around.
I keep pushing forward against the tide.
Society bombards me with so may things that I don't want. 
They try to benumb me to so much wrong and desensitize me to the violence and crime. Next, it's the subtle persuasion to accept strange sexual orientations.The world is trying to make us all compete against ourselves. So those who stand for sharing and charity don't fit in while greed and wanton ostentatious desires that help to fuel an exploitative economic thrust are supported openly.I'm trying to keep my colour in this torrential rain of unconscious decolouration and the 'zombilizing' flood of distracting information.It's like I'm driving the wrong way on a one way street, against the traffic of society's influences.
I see prints here and there...in my direction. Then they fade off as I forge ahead. I wonder if that will be all I will also leave behind...footprints and a bag full of secrets...the precipitates of a stubborn belief system. 
I'm weird, I'm different. This is what i stand for. It is who I am...who are you?

Incomplete

I sat in front of the blank screen for a long time

Hours of writing, editing, rewriting and deleting

Back to square one...a blank screen again

I know the message, I know the reason

I know the audience, but can't tell if they'll listen

I sat down thinking of how to send this out with a different beat

I don't want the people dancing the same way to this

Writer's block, amnesic spasms and endless journeys into 'wanderland'

A wise lady once said "...not everyone who wanders is lost"

I'm sitting here with a message in my head but i can't find a way to write it out

I'm not lost, just wandering and trying to find another way

This is still not complete...

rUbBerALL rEvoLUTioN

                                                                           

They knew of our weakness but they never anticipated our resilience

They pushed us harder but they didn't know our limits

So they pushed on thinking we would break

We were duly stretched but we didn't even crack

They oppressed us and increased our burdens

We buckled at our knees and fell to the floor

We fell but that was not the end of us

Because we pulled ourselves up

when they thought we were done

They saw us arise with bloodshot eyes

We were broken, bruised and battered

but our wounds were only on the outside

They had damaged our bodies but stirred up our spirits

We were down to rock bottom, we could only rise

Rise from these ashes, rise from the rubble

I'm a rebelLION, a part of the rebellion

That's what you call it, we call it a revolution

Our roar has got the masters running

We've been beaten out of shame and fear

We are left with boldness and courage

Fearlessly, we will rise to face our challenges

We will pull our bodies across the border

We will hunt down the oppressors and turn this slave yard...

...to a palace fit for us, Kings and Queens of the land!

Riches shared in equity and wealth to fill every home

Leaders and not lords! Followers and not slaves!

A Rising Tide

I increasingly feel the need to make people happy. The need to show and share love...unbiased, in spite of the response from others. Love is the answer. It is the cure for all our hurt and it can't be locked inside. It bursts through the seams and pours itself out, spreading it's fragrance to all. It leaves a soft smile on the lips of those that it meets and warms the heart of the giver. It melts the heart of the avenger and cools the fiery furnace of anger and jealousy. In a cruel and cold world, love is a soft and warm glow. It is the syncline to all negative vibes! It is truth, it is forgiveness. It is a rising tide that lifts all boats!

Square One

I'm alone right here...

It's another cold night

I'm back in the house but I'm far from home

There are fingerprints on the walls

The smell of your hair on the pillow

The clothes deliberately left on the chair

The strands of hair tangled in my comb.

While I was away...

The spare key unlocked my doors

The kitchen was alive again

My shoes found their way back to the rack

I know you arranged my shelf

You helped me with my wardrobe

But while I was away,

The rains poured down too

They have washed away the footprints

The winds have taken away the fragrance

But my heart knows you were here

Even before my eyes could explain

I couldn't have folded my pyjamas that way

I know I didn't wear that white T-shirt

Neither did I leave those clothes in the dryer...

You put everything in order 

But you left my heart in a million pieces

All I have left are pictures, memories, a note on the bed and my spare key under the doormat.

Now I'm back to the start again

Alone...

Beautiful Imperfection! (Not Asa Please)

I walked into the room and i knew i was in trouble....
My wife's powder was on the floor and i could see the makeup table was scattered and things were in places she obviously didn't leave them.
Mascara, foundation, lashes sprawled on the bed and alphabets on the wall in different shades of lipstick.
Eye pencils had been sharpened and used to draw stick men on the table. I couldn't shout...I just couldn't.
That's when I saw her stroll in, swinging an eye pencil in one hand and holding a handbag in the other hand.
There was lipstick smudged on her lips...
A little gloss with glitters, meant for the lips but smeared all around the mouth
She had a hat that dropped down to her lower lashes and shoes that could take her feet and hands together
There was more powder on her dress than on her face and necklaces that hung down to her knees
One would wonder why I smiled endlessly at her
You would question my undying love for her
You wouldn't understand why that mischievous smile and those dimples made me happy and proud. The crazy combination of clothes and makeup that were applied in all the wrong ways but still couldn't mask the cuteness of the outcome. Perfect in its imperfections...the efforts of a child at being a grown woman...my two years old daughter, trying to figure out how to be a grown woman with the help of makeup, jewellery and mirrors! Creative in her own way but nonetheless mischievous.
Needless to say, I had a lot of cleanup to do and a lot of blame. Eventually, the pictures will tell the true story and we will all laugh through it all.

My Hope

I dragged my weary soul through the doors. It had been a long and sad day. My heart was heavy and I couldn't tell why. I felt He had forsaken me. I reminded myself that I'm not serving Him for what I can gain, but the conviction of that idea needed to be established by repeating it to myself.

I looked up and saw them take the stage...young, bright faces with robes that could pass as handed down cloaks. I smiled when I saw the young man take the mic. I sat down, fighting my inner critic to sit still while I prepared my heart for the ministration. 

  That's when it all began...

...I heard the choir....

...I heard the choir sing in unison

Like channels of water flowing peacefully into the sea, they gracefully poured out their worship.

They split harmoniously, like petals opening up to form a beautiful flower

Maintaining their distinct voices but uniting in symphony and synchrony.

Sopranos, altos and tenors, distinct and diverse but in harmony

Blending and intertwining seamlessly to form one multicoloured rainbow of voices, rising from the earth, like a beacon, shooting right through the clouds to the heavens.

Serenading angels and giving light to men on earth.

The Light of the world, illuminating the hearts of men through the praise and worship of His name.

This heartwarming and soul lifting experience is not even a nanoscopic fraction of an iota of His Glory! 

When they dropped the last note of the song, I was ablaze inside. I could no longer see the troubles that accompanied me to the gates of the church

I began to see life's struggles, relative to the promised Glory. I stretched out life on earth beside the length of eternity and couldn't find a dot...what on earth will I not endure, by His grace, just to see myself immersed in such Glory for eternity!? I didn't need to repeat anything to myself. I only asked "who am I that in my careless and selfish life, the one true God will reveal a piece of His Glory to me?" The author of all things, the one that out dates time, Has promised to share His Glory with me! 

This is my hope and ultimate heart desire...to be a part of the Glory to come!

The Nigerian Senate and the Game of Shame

Once again I feel the need to rant!!! What type of misguided decision making goes on in this our beloved country? The Senate want to make kidnapping punishable by death! Now, it looks like a good

decision, but I can't help but feel irritated by the comments of some Senators. The Senate Vice President said Nigerians cannot endure a little, that they are too quick to pay the ransom and that has become an incentive to kidnappers! Really!!!? How long will you wait for kidnappers to return your wife, husband or child when you know the security agencies are not properly equipped to find them? That is if your case is even given a second thought. These are people that tell you there is no fuel to come and help! How will they even find the kidnappers? Over 260 girls were kidnapped over a year ago in this country and till today there has been no news concerning their return! You think their parents wouldn't gladly pay a ransom to get their children back? Another Senator, said this law will serve as a deterrent for kidnappers. This is not the first step that should be taken! Before you decide to do this, won't you ensure that the security agencies are strengthened and properly equipped first? Nigerians have lost faith in the efficacy of these agencies and will rather do what they can to save their loved ones, which is to pay the ransom.

Our politicians have worsened the already difficult economic conditions we face. This has pushed many Nigerians into unscrupulous means of survival. This is not an excuse for the shameful act of kidnapping, but the death penalty may be a few steps ahead of the real solution. There are steps that must be taken before we jump to that. There are also more pressing issues that threaten the integrity of this nation like the issue of the Fulani herdsmen and their pernicious infiltration of the South! They should spend time trying to come up with reasonable solutions to this first!

The average Nigerian is poor and will not be kidnapped. So this whole thing is another tune to serenade the upper class while people grope in the dark in search of food and light in this information age! Giant of Africa? I dare you to even say it to a Rwandan or anyone from Botswana. Our leaders have started another round of this never ending game of shame!!!!

Fear. Pain. Glory

A little girl cries in silence

A little girl is groaning deep within

Her voice is not heard by her mother 

And her shame is not one to be expressed

She sits in a corner watching family-cum-predator

He turns to look at her while he laughs with the crowd

The comfort of family is the veil for terror

There are things going on in her head 

Those secrets she thinks she can't share

Memories of days of terror and nights of fear

Spasms of your touch, a bitterness she can't suppress

The height of your pleasure, the depth of her despair

While the world rotates, she stands, slowly sinking in shame

While you plunder her weary soul, her spirit remains...

Unbroken, unbroken, the will to outgrow this pain

She won't leave it behind, but will talk about it boldly till it folds neatly into her history

She will arm the young girls with her story,

If they see you on the way, they won't run

They won't fall, they will undress your tricks and send you home, naked but without shame

You met a little girl, you ravaged her soul but the woman within is unbreakable

She is a champion for others and a lasting reminder of your weakness...her conquest

She bowed a girl, right before you but she rose a Queen, the Queen of Kings.

Swallowed in Our Own Bellies

Nigeria's failing economy is not a secret. On the other hand, we have economists and policy makers who should be able to design a structure to salvage our dying economy. Many of them have strategies, models and policies which can change the fate of this nation. They have achieved remarkable success in other places where they have used this knowledge to create lasting solutions. We are left to wonder why they can't do the same here. Before we start a discussion on the lack of patriotism (which is true in most cases), let us talk of the more common issues.

First, economic theories and models are based on information. In Nigeria, the data is either not available or not accurate enough to be considered reliable. In the absence of better information, policies are formulated based on these roughly estimated figures and the result is what we see in the country; policies that are effective on paper but ineffective and rather disruptive in practice.

Secondly, for a policy to work properly there have to be checks and balances put in place to ensure the details are implemented accordingly. The ministries and government bodies that should help implement these policies are lazy, ineffective and usually overstaffed and over paid relative to the amount of work they do! People want to get paid for work they don't do. They sit in offices all day doing nothing. Falsifying records and using fictitious data to fill reports that would be used to assess the success of these policies.

The last problem lies right here. People like you and I who have seen the way things should be but decide to do nothing but talk and talk. A lot of small talk won't overturn the work of a lot of big time crooks! If you read messages like this every day but you still go ahead to destroy the system in your own way, what use is all the noise and clamouring? It is hypocrisy in its most healthy form! We are the termites that are eating up the system. The economists can only plan but they can never accurately predict the unsustainable greed and deceit of the common man. The failure of Neoclassical Economics in Nigeria is more of the failure of man’s integrity in the battle against his own greed than a failure of the system itself. This doesn’t mean that the system is flawless. It means that the flaws of the system have been greatly aggravated by greedy, power-drunk and selfish people. The sins of the past have brought us to where we stand today. Tomorrow we may be forgotten, but our greed and corruption will haunt generations yet unborn.

The Wait

The Wait

I will wait, my lover

I will wait even when all I can see are your footprints and not your feet

I will wait even when I have nothing but the fragrance of your black orchid

I will wait, not because there are no options

But because patience gives me more strength to love you more

Love your hazel eyes

Love your strength

Love your weakness

Love every single flaw the world will never understand…

Love immensely, the buttons, they keep it all together

Love every reason for your existence

I will wait

Yes baby

I will wait by your book

Reading every single word you wrote that meant something….

…something through the lens

- Titilola Moore

National Service?

Online registration seems like something that should have been here ages ago but like everything else in this country, it takes donkey years to bring a good idea to fruition. We used it to show our problem-riddled use of technology again! Just a simple registration process and we opened a can of worms hiding in the corner of this our ‘beautiful idea’ of NYSC online registration. People waited for 13 hours for the system to mail a link so they could start the registration process. This is something that should never happen in this day and age! Some were sympathetic about the whole problem. They said “There were too many people on the site at the same time, that was why it was ‘hanging’”. Before this system was implemented there must have been proper study and they should have built the system to cater for an estimated number of people who would gate crash the registration process immediately it begins, so that excuse is untenable. Apparently, nobody did this and we were all thrown into long hours of frustration that led to this article.

The problems with the online registration continued in shameful fashion. There were drop down menus that never dropped down and some biometric devices functioning only with Java Version 6 and 7, meanwhile what is readily available online is version 8. So one has to downgrade in order to use the device. Is this because someone got the contract to supply these devices and he got the low cost version that is outdated and can’t work with the latest version of Java? Seems like to me! Why can’t the biometric data be taken from the nation’s database, considering the fact that all this information has already been taken for National ID card and the infamous BVN number registration. Does this mean every government office will now start its independent data collection instead of leveraging on the available data and saving cost? When will we get ready for efficient use of available technology and information?

Another show of shame is the frequent and almost mandatory delay of flights in Nigeria. Why does it have to happen so often? If you know you can’t fly by a certain time, advertise a time that will enable you accommodate your usual delay or ‘operational reasons’. I would rather come to the airport for a flight by 5pm if I know we will leave by 5pm than book a flight for 2pm and end up leaving by 4pm! Some times flights are cancelled after passengers have checked in and are waiting for the flight. It is totally beyond my humble understanding! Some of the problems are just plainly unacceptable! What baffles me the most is that we all sit in the departure lounge smiling like nothing out of the ordinary is happening! Welcome to Nigeria! The world’s capital for suffering and smiling!

Why can’t we just adopt something good and use it properly? Why can’t we create a system that can accommodate the basic problems associated with such a system and create solutions for them? We have consistently found a way to make the most inefficient use of information and technology. Let us not even go into the non-functional phone numbers placed on government websites. 24/7 they are switched off or they would never be picked. The lines will ring endlessly. Our attitude towards customer satisfaction, especially in the public sector, is terribly apathetic.

While I hope and pray for things to get better, it seems there is no end in sight. Those who should stem the tide are perpetrators of these vices in more conniving and artful ways. It would seem our ability to use the internet is limited to scheming,  creatively inspired social media jibes usually directed at our leaders for crimes we have helped them to commit. We are obsessed with attacking the Government (I’m not absolving them from blame), but these systems that are failing, including the government, are not individuals on their own but are made up of insincere, inefficient and dispassionate people like us. If we sit and accommodate the rot, it will spread and consume us all. We need to learn to speak up when things are wrong! People should not be allowed to treat us badly especially when we are paying for a service. We need Servicom to stand up to its responsibilities. We all deserve to be served right!